between putting off my senior thesis and looking at the massive amounts of snow around here, i've been looking forward to silkscreening!

hurray for vectors! hurray for (not)public domain photos! hurray!

geeksteroids and I and a young sketchist are working on some print ideas and will probably be mostly a mix between [link] and things with pictures of windmills on them. hurray!

also, when spring comes, oil paints will be all the rage, as will picnics, bike-rides, and all around good times.


perhaps i have seasonal affectedness disorder. perhaps.


someday i will scan and upload my poetry book. someday. perhaps.

statements (facts):

full ride scholarship to Eastern Michigan university

bought first song off of iTunes (Engine by Neutral Milk Hotel [the b-side version in london])

pissin' like the devil

cheryl got her license suspended (60 days with benefits)

i love poutine






observations (forgive me being political, i put it off so long?):

Farenheit 451=wearing earbuds with music, taking pills
School (everywhere)=wearing iPod buds with music, taking pills (ADD, ADHD, OCD, depression, anti-baby)

1984="chocolate rations are up/down/gone," large screens in our homes, collapsing vocabulary
2008="gas rations are up/down/gone," large screens in our homes, wire-taps on our phones, 'bling' officially added to dictionary (last year)




i feel we've lost (it's not a war as long as it's still an executive order):
identity
modesty
gentle
silence
shame
discussions
revolutions


i will add (when the time is then):
poetry book ("Poems and a few very short stories")
painting (recreation of Joan miro's "La leccion de Ski")
photographs (another factory)


loves!

Accepted to Eastern Michigan (into honors program with scholarships and in-state tuition) and Marietta (as pioneer scholar [ + 6k] and invited to do contest thang)

took a pictoid on the way back from michigan. meh. camera-phone. i love me camera phone. also took another similar one of a factory. might post that shit too.

soon I should work on a massive oil-based recreation of that Joan Miro shit. it'll be tha shit.


working on book of poetry (better than that shitty chap book i gave up on). it'll be pretty. i'll add one of the poems.

also:
christmas, snow, cold, calculus, sleep, presents, contacts, eye infection, big pimple, stolen program, and...messes.


OH! and my level 3 halfling thief almost died at the hands of a stone SeaLion at D&D last night. thanks be to brognim and nailo for rescuing my greedy and idiotic ass. coppa pieces ain't worth shit sandwich, beyotch.





Ben's been slightly concussed.

so i recieved a letter from Knox College in Illinoise- an acceptance letter!

they said that also I recieved from them scholarships!!!?!? 10,000 dollar academic thing and the 2,000 dollar writing scholarship- the Knox College writing scholarship!!!!

so that's exciting, even though i didn't really plan on going there. i figured i'd apply since i was accepted for free application status. you know what i'll do? post soem of the shit i put in my writing portfolio that won me that scholarship! booyeah!



so anyway, that's that. i'm waiting on layola (don't really wanna go there either) and OSU, until i apply to Pittsburgh and Marietta and maybe Eastern Michigan. whatev.



man! the knox writing scholarship! too bad it's an expensive school and so close to Iowa!

sorry, andrew bird.

But regardless of beautiful music
i have been depressed.

i just feel exhausted and stressed and depressed. part of it might be the fact that i've been staring nonchalantly into a screen for...what feels like years now. watching two movies, two teachers with smart boards (three times a day), computer lab (x3).

sleep.

and i dunno where to go to college. and, in this sense of the word, college is a verb.

it really doesn't matter. somewhere. somewhere to sleep and eat and clean and learn and walk through streets and grassy fields and see birds and make music quietly, alone, purposefully and in a cramped dorm room.

even working on the newspaper isn't that fun anymore. i've passed the torch and I could care less about making the dipshits on the staff feel good about themselves. telling them ways theyc ould help you out by lengthening their shitty article, or writing about real things, or fucking saving their documents to the right folders, and they give you that look of pity and shit where they mock what little power they think you think you have and not so secretly bullshit out a physical response to your request and can't wait until you die, or at least graduate.

there is dust.

exactly one year since my first journal entry here. impressive.





i have to research Joan Miro, the spanish painter, and replicate one of his works and deliver a biographical presentation on him in spanish.

"este es senor Joan Miro. el pinto mucho cuanda estaba viviendo. y el continuaraba pintar mas si no fuera por su muerto. el fin."

but I am excited about using one of my giant cavnases to do an expressionist oil painting.




i am just experiencing no joy in school anymore, and I just really want to be alone sometimes when i'm needed.



stop talking about myself. but...conversation. i want to be a theoretical physicist. no. a physicist, but only theoretically.


do you ever want to crumple up and just give in to the temptation to stop creating things and just sit or lay, drinking in other beautiful works of art, and finally be happy in thinking that you'll never be on par? not even worry about yourself, just live, absorbing perfect things and cry at the beauty around you?